Most of you know that the Carroll Family has faced some daunting news this year. It seemed that we could not catch a break. From Andrea’s brain cancer to Jan’s serious car accident and a whole lot in between, we were really feeling the burdens of life. The class was gracious enough to pray for us. In fact, one Sunday morning Holly led the class in laying on of hands for us in prayer. I can honestly report that from that day, we have had an easier time. Andrea has finished her chemo and radiation and will now be on a maintenance dose each month. Jan’s car was totaled, but she was not. The insurance company was more than fair, paying us almost double what I expected. The replacement car is not what we “wanted” but was a very safe bet until (or if) we decide to upgrade. The story on the car is another very interesting display of how God works things out for out good and His glory – for both the us and the sellers. Since the class laying on of hands in prayer for us many things have resolved. Jan is still in pain, but is getting better.
Yet I am still sick. I am writing this while my head is spinning my sleep continues to elude me. Yet I have had so many many people pray for me. I have had conferences stop and pray for me, laying hands on me. I have had some “heavy weight” Christians hold my hand and pray for me. So why does it not work?
Our class is gracious to pray for others as well. Sometimes we can put a check next to the answered prayer box and more often we cannot. So why does prayer sometimes work and other times not? Why are some people, Like Rebecca Cottingham, healed so marvelously and others are not? I can remember sitting in the church service when the testimony was given how prayer has simply healed her. The congregation was praising God – but me, I was feeling sorry for myself. It didn’t work for me.
I recovered from my self pity later that day, but it is hard to understand why some prayer works and others don’t. I can’t tell you how often this is a discussion in counseling sessions – and with my wife and myself. But the answer lies in the fallacy of the question itself. Prayer doesn’t work. That in itself means we are using it as a tool. Intercessory prayer is often pleading with God to do what you think is best.
Perhaps it would be better to think of prayer as helping rather than working. If my prayers for my health had been answered, I would probably be a much richer man. I had a successful engineering consulting practice. Instead I went from top 5-10% income bracket to social security disability, a rather long fall. My 401 K’s had to be used up. My income is fixed for the most part. Not a rosy long term income plan. Yet, if I did not become ill, I would not have pursued my real desire – knowing God. My life was simply too busy. Besides, as a Catholic turned “Public” or Protestant, I got tired of being saved every Sunday so church did not do a lot for me.
I heard that I should rejoice in all things, but that was absurd. I heard that God causes all things work to work together for good to those who love God. So how was my illness any good? People throw out those verses or buy the posters at the Christian book store. Does that mean I should rejoice in Andrea’s brain cancer or if my wife had died in the accident? No, it does not. But now I know “the rest of the story” because Romans 8:28 is followed by Romans 8:29: “For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son.” This powerful verse tells us that God foreknew us before we existed, and has predestined us and is controlling the situations and illnesses that He is either allowing or preventing from coming into our lives for a very specific purpose – that we become more conformed to the image of His Son. That is why, I believe, that I have not been healed. I have utilized the options from Scripture to be healed, including calling the Elders for anointing with oil and confession of sins. (James 5). It was through that process that I came to terms with my disease. That doesn’t mean I have overcome my selfishness or self pity. It means that when they strike I can be reminded of the truth - that God has, and is, conforming me to the image of His Son. I can recall that my ministry, to whatever extent I can fulfill it is enhanced because I can follow 2 Cor 1 in praising God and sharing the hope which I received with those who are going through difficult waters. I am a much greater asset to the community of Christ because of my illness. And all the prayers said in my behalf may not have “worked,” but boy did they help me receive grace to conform me to the image of Christ.
As our church enters its 40 days of prayer, try to remember that we are not looking for a scorecard. We are actually entering the throne room of God, by the earned right of Jesus Christ on our behalf, and through the benevolent act of the Holy Spirit in conveying our request to the Father to help us and others be conformed to His Son. That may be by suffering or being healed. It may be in understanding the loss of a child or the birth of a child. In teaching others or serving others.
Sometimes this means we pray for others not to be tempted, while encouraging them to flee temptation; sometimes we pray for healing or that grace could be remembered and displayed in the final months of death to encourage others to trust God. Sometimes just a working car may be all that someone needs to trust that God is watching out for them. I know a young woman, victim of two robberies, who needs just that.
But whatever circumstances God allows us to encounter as Christians, we know that it will not be so severe that we have to sin (1 Cor 10.13), that it has not occurred outside God’s purview (Col 1.7), and that wherever sin is causing havoc, grace to the Christian will be super-abounding (James 4.6 & Romans 5.20 ).
Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive (or intercede for others to receive) mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Heb 4.16) and see to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled. (Heb 12.15) Thanks for your prayers to help me overcome my own self pity and selfishness.
